Monday, April 26, 2010
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending." Carl Bard
So though I hate to admit it, I've been a roller coaster since last Wednesday! Life just happens sometimes and comes along and knocks you on your butt! You know how it is... one kid gets sick, then the other one gets sick, then you get sick, then you run out of food and can't wait til pay day, you feel like crap so you eat crap, you look like crap so you just get down on yourself...blah blah blah! I could go on and on with emotions and feelings that tend to find a way into our lives and screw us all up despite our efforts to keep them out! That is exactly what I've allowed to happen in my life over the last few days! Is it just a woman thing? LOL! Seriously! Just when I think I have it all together, I'm always reminded about how far I still have to go! Honestly I think we sabotage ourselves sometimes out of fear we might actually get where we think we wanna be! That might not make sense, but what I'm trying to say is, it just seems when you get headed in the right direction and feel all good about everything, is right when you find yourself running into a wall! At least for me that seems to happen! Although sometimes, like I said, I sabotage myself and that is something I'm still working on and working through!
Isn't fear a bitch? There are two things in this life that I think are the root of all evil and some our biggest downfalls! FEAR AND JEALOUSLY! When we allow either of them to enter our lives, we face big time struggles and failures! For example I'm working my butt off here lately trying to get my turbokick class up and running, but I'm terrified I'm not any good! I get so worked up about it sometimes that I think that's when I sabotage myself and say the hell with it. Like I did this last week. Granted life was all over the place and nobody around me was feeling good, including myself, I allowed it to be the reason I stopped doing what needed to be done! I found ways to push my goals and hard work to the side and make excuses as to why I can't do something. Or how about feeling insecure because you think someone might be better than you? I know for me if I let jealously or insecurities sneak in, then I lose focus and find more excuses to hold myself back. Like how many times have you gone, oh say a solid month of working out, eating right, feeling good, getting your shit all together,...and wham you stop! Just stop! You simply find ways and reasons you just can't keep going. Doesn't that make you feel like crap? You put all this work and effort out there, just to sabotage yourself and have to start over!
So what is the positive in all of this? Where am I going with it? Well slowly but surely over time I'm being honest to myself about my weaknesses. So instead of giving up completely, when I mess up or have a rough week, I don't let that week turn into a year anymore! I'm finding ways to pick myself up and get back to it. Its a process. Taking care of yourself is a process. I think though that's why so many people start out with good intentions when it comes to diet and working out, all to fall off the wagon and not get back up for a very long time! We let fear, insecurities, life, and anything else we can think of stop us from being who we are meant to be. After all if you became everything you know you could be become, it would require a lot of work right? If you got your body, mind, success, dreams, goals...and all the things your really want to fall into place happen, your entire life would change wouldn't it? You would have to do so much just to stay where you are at and you wouldn't have anymore excuses because you would prove to yourself you are actually capable of anything. Its so much easier to stay one step behind isn't it? Its so much easier to find excuses to not workout then to be able to handle a fit and trim body that takes work to keep? Sounds dumb to me, but its true! We get too comfortable with our problems, excuses, fears, jealousy's, doubts...that to not have them around makes us feel uncomfortable! Basically we cling on to our security blanket of living a life of mediocrity and avoid a life of success and happiness! Its not as easy as it looks to be completely satisfied and happy with yourself or is it easy to get to where you know you can be and who you can be!
That's where I'm at anyways. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know what I want and where I want to be. I'm just slowly but surely finding more and more ways to knock down the hurdles and not settle! I'm tired of the old me and old ways. I'm tired of allowing myself to sabotage my success and quit. I'm tired of being jealous of others or things I don't have. And the more I remind myself to keep pushing these negative feelings out of my life, the more I keep moving forward. I've messed up a lot of yesterdays by being lazy and stupid, but it sure is nice to keep waking up to a new day and hopefully getting less and less stupid LOL!
So I challenge you today to kick that self doubt and do something that's hard. It can be anything. Maybe you've been a complete ass to someone because they make you feel insecure, so nows the time to put on a smile and get over yourself and just treat that person with respect. Maybe you can go day in and day out without a drink of alcohol, but come the night you can't help yourself so you drink, drink, drink! Well go one week without any liquor and force yourself to just deal. You'll be fine! Maybe you are one of those people who just can't get up early enough to workout, so for ONE week get up earlier than you need to and workout anyways! Adding in a little pain now and then can actually discipline us and make us better for it in the end! 7 days of not sabotaging yourself and your results, might sound like an impossible task, but just think of how much further along you will be if you just do it! So jump off that roller coaster you've been on lately and just walk at a steady pace until you start breaking some of those bad habits! Treat yourself good! You're worth it! I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to you. We really are worth it and we need to treat ourselves damn good! You've got something nobody else has and you are just as important as the next person. So forget about yesterday and start over today and for the rest of your life!
Beachbody Coach Jen Mangum